Friday, 16 April 2010

Well just wanna post this for myself
"spit it out and forget them"
Thats why my bloggie here to be..
I dun care whether anyone of you will criticise me but i hope pls dun mention when you meet me
i thank you 1st...
It doesn't have the correct or false statement so (only read)
My dear closed friends around me.....you know my feelings
Just dun comment anything

It hurts me! It really hurts but what can i do?
as an embassador of god i can't sin to god by doing sins toward them
but can only see them fly away
never tried to felt to 1 girl except her....there's many girls....but my heart choose her
why? maybe she touch my heart?
I try to touch but i failed to touch her heart
why? maybe i dun have a good look? money? heart? Or just a matter of Fate?
Maybe Im in TVB drama.... acting some weird love case
it goes like this.....
me and her were normal friend just that i tried to get close to her
as she is avaiable nothing much asking her to hang out....
hmm... so coinsidencely meeting in some where and inviting him to join me and her
he knew her on that day along with me...
In one day happens to be the purposed day from me to her....
some how dunno whether he had done anything
for me, im being refused, but for him is accepted...
just in one face in one day.....
im speechless as in face in oneday can happen but not for year days with her
ok? here's the question...
should i blame my self for bringing him to her?
should i go and ask why?
Its all too late.....

It really hurts me when i get this news....
i don't even want to believe it until my eye's caught it
until that day.... the feeling of her with me have gone....
so i pretend to be normal better than those days we had
when it happens.....
phew you'll never feel this until you really are
it's like the thorns of heart piercing your heart
Not even pain killers can cure the wound but god's word
everytime i feel for her the thorns will pierce me and what could i do?
cry?
slap myself?
knock myself to the wall?
some sharp items to hurt myself?
Go flat and jump down from 50th floor?
All this was my thinking from drama but god enlightens me
for him who had die for me and i shall not die for her but to continue love her..
Jesus love us and jesus told us to love others
So for this i wake up from suffering but still the thorns are inside
it will hurts when i saw them.... feel pain for it!!
i can't say anything anymore but just continue my life perfectly as possible as i can
But what can't change is my love for her! never!
placed her in 3rd placing as 1st is God and 2nd is my family 4th...my friends
never change for her except she change her self to oppose...
the 2 of them are going into the college im going along....
so pray for me that the thorns will not hurt me and affect my studies
will be facing them everyday as we are staying in hostel in next to each other...
i hope i can blind my eyes

Now For Him:
i know what kind of person you are...and now she is with you. I hope that you can bring an everlasting to her...don't let me know you had anywrong to her for i shall always protect her although i can't be with her...treat him more better than me....

For Her:
Nvm although it hurts, just that its hurt from your thorns you have given me
but my love never chnage for you...as i love everyone more you are special one
will never change until another person have touch my heart.Hope you are very very hung fuk with him but not sadness


I dare myself with all these words i have given out that i won't regret this for i still stand the words