我不知道。我真的不知道。如何再说话了。

手下的承诺是假的。答应过说不再去和他说话 结果还是继续。我不懂到底会带出什么结果。我不敢想象。冲来没有体谅过我的感受。我的感受就不需要体谅了吗？长远的话真的真的回去问题。我感觉到的。如果一个男人感觉不到那就是一个感情没有爱情。我是有的。我的心很吹弱的。比一般人的心还吹若。

 那问题就是创造机会给这男的入侵他生活里。我就慢慢的做备胎。我不成功的话，你回去他哪。里。我成功的话，你会留下来。这是我看法而已 错就怪我错吧。我已经不懂的真么去做了。

我能真样？我就是！不能真样！我很累每一天都要希望他不来找你。找你的话 你只回他公事。私人的话不聊。因为你聊不过他。因为他还是会聊你很多很多聊了到他有机会。为什么还要答复他？因为礼貌上？因为怕他不开心？因为没事得？

我不知道。我也不想知道。我只知道不把他停下来。他永远不会放弃。而我就一直觉得很威胁。那我就要去担心。你说你很累因为我那么样。我呢？我的感受呢？有问过我吗？有想要帮我吗？

我只想说。我已经里了。我做我因该做的。做好我自己。吧我自己成功就算了。我已经额忘了。

我不能永远都单方面体谅你的。因为那叫摸摸的付出。当我的不到汇报。我的心很快脆了。

我贝想真样就真样。如你说愿。我给无法无能了。说了的话都说了。危险的都全劝你不要做了，你还是要做。因为你觉得没问题。我也希望没问题。

如果告诉我。我有个女同事这样找我然后和你一样的做法。你觉得如何？每一天和他在一起聊私事。你会真么想？你会怀疑吗？你会误会吗？你会想要知道你的安全感吗？你会觉得被出卖的感觉吗？自己想象吧。我说很多了也无能为力了。

谢谢。

文辉上

 今天礼拜天。贝贝去上班了。有点小开心。感觉到那份爱。看到他今天开朗的表情。我很开心。我很心安。一切都回到我们很爱很爱的时候了。

谁然他问了我 ：为什么一直说 贝贝帮我生宝宝。可是我的想法是 肯定是我beibei生。我感觉得到我们很爱对方。那我才敢说 你陈韦霖 一定要帮我生宝宝。嘻嘻。

开心的十一月一号。

事情已经过了3 天。 我好很多了 也在们心疼了。因为我吧概念变了

陈韦霖是我女朋友。是我老婆。他回，回家的。他是爱我的。

希望我没有做错 我的mindset decision. 嘻嘻

今天回到家就做我的运动。。。做完了 你就眼睡了。我很想等你的kiss。可是就没来到。。。然后你就不行了。。。那就睡吧傻孩。谁然我我有点不开心 但是 这傻孩子也不能看吗呀。子能怪自己太傻了。哈哈

我自能在这里说出我的心声。单不想印象你的感搜。没什么只是觉得 回到家你就睡了。想和你谈情说爱也没时间。因为你说你累了。你不能了。要睡了。那就好吧。我也没办法。就自己受吧。

希望这感觉不会一直都有每次都有。希望他会感觉得到我想要的东西。我不想勉强。自想我的宝贝懂我。关心我。我不想每次都回到家就睡觉。工作有很忙很累。没时间聊话题。可就能和同事聊。你贝贝我会觉得很孤单。只想有人会问他。吃饱了吗，开心吗？真么啦？今天如何呀。关心他呀。不需要每天。

今天就到这啦。希望我贝贝不需要看到这post也会懂我的心。

＃永不放弃他 ＃陈文辉爱陈韦霖

＃我的心事

晚安 文辉上。

 Hi my dear self, im back to here to talk to myself.....

Its about my relationship.

I'll explain when im free, but right now i just want to express my current thinking. I will write a full post when im free for it because it is quite long story. 

Alright..... 

I've been in uneasy for the past August happening that gives me my nightmare. 

Till now i still did something which i shouldnt do. But i just cant stop my self from it. But i do really give the full trust to my dear. I have mever doubt her before. Then why and what still makes me worry? Its because of him?

He has been doing alot of things which i am unable to accept. 

Here's what i cant accept.

Being a colleague, he everyday finds her for dinner. Its like literally everyday... By asking.... I mean could you imagine that, if a guy is not interested in her, why would he been everyday looking for her for dinner and the priority is her first rather than any other friends or family? He has nobody but only my dear? He amd my dear is just a colleague relationship but i felt it has gonr too far than relationship because i felt he is creating chances to see whether he has or he hasnt. *I felt threaten in this way*...because as a man, we have our senses too... We can smell something is not right in that situation.

Second feeling, its been a week, i recall it was 18/Oct. Its been a while that i have promised my dear that i gave her the full trust that i promise i wont look at her messages again. But still i cant control myself to be honest. Yes, i trust her but come on, i cant trust him... I can sense he is still haunting my dear in a way i think which he is waiting for an opportunity. Its been a while i have not update any news about his action such and such. Thus yesterday which is 23/Oct, i check out to her phone and found that she was deleting messages that she had converse with him. Now! This is something weird. Im not sure how to express and think. But the fact there is only 2 options. 

1. She is trying to? L**

2. She was doing to? A***d

There is 2 answer to it only. I have yet to know the answer. I dont want to make a fuss on this issue. But i wanted to know the truth behind her intention doing this. I hope she tells me how she would handle in this situation. I understand how she is and she been doing. Just that i hope she could tell me what is my dear gonna do to avoid things like this? I know my dear is to gentle. I know you dont like to hurt people. But you dont really know that you are hurting me. Im HURT! But i cant tell cuz you must feel it within you... You must put yourself in my shoe as how i did when you know i have been chat with a girl. My dear asked me to stop chatting and tell her the truth and i really did stop and avoid everything from her.

If i  ever tells my dear. It means that i am trying to demand my dear. If i demand my dear, it would have been my issue rather than its the guy issue. I really dont know how to handle this. God, please help me to go through this with my dear. We are good just that he is not nice. My dear cant avoid him due to he n her are colleague.

One she told me that she is weak in rejecting people and why should she due to they are actually just colleagues? 

I've also ever startled with this question. But the issue is he keep haunting and coming with such and such words tempting and conversations that is nearly close to courtship. These shouldnt be appearing in terms of colleague. Its too over compare to other colleagues. No colleagues shall everyday looking for you to talk and to share especially a guy in which a guy would be more preferable to bro talk... Not with a girl who already has a boyfriend and yet wouldnt respect people who has a boyfriend. Its disrespectfulness in full and should be avoid at any cost at all. How can he be like that? A gentlemen wouldnt do like that. But him, till now still asking him for dinner and giving diff words.

Uhhh my mind cant think anymore.... I still have long words to say about this. But its too pain for me to continue. I really dont know how but i will do my best to tell and advice myself day by day that the days will be good if im good and hope my dear knows what my dear is doing and my dear could really really honest with me in our relationship. I WOULDNT GIVE UP THIS RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH RACHEL TAN WEI LING